Stubborn Travel

Is solo travel lonely? This is the question I get the most about traveling alone.

I am a huge advocate for solo travel. It’s liberating, exhilarating, and importantly, gives you the freedom to explore at your own pace and do exactly what you want to do.

But like anything, there are downsides, and one of those is the feeling of loneliness and isolation. When I talk to people who are daunted by the idea of solo travel, it’s usually because they’re scared of feeling lonely.

I’m not saying that you’ll never feel lonely when traveling solo, but there are ways to try keep loneliness at bay. On this page, I outline the steps I take on my solo travels.

Connect with locals and other travelers

This might seem obvious, but one way to combat loneliness is to make friends. Naturally, that’s easier said than done – so how do you go about it?

Friendly hostels

When I’m traveling solo and want to make friends, I always stop by hostels, even if I’m not staying there. That’s because they tend to have great social calendars and the people tend to be friendly. Connecting travelers is a hostel’s bread and butter.

Go to a hostel and ask if there are activities or trips that you can join. In Colombia, I joined a poker night at one hostel (that I wasn’t staying at) and my friend went to a big soccer game with a group at another one. One place had free dancing for guests ($5 for visitors). I’ve seen cocktail classes, yoga, bingo, hikes, karaoke and everything in between.

It can be hit or miss depending on the hostel, but reading reviews in advance is a great way to find one that’s aligned with the vibe you’re looking for.

Of course, if you want to sleep, make sure you look for social and not party (unless that’s what you’re after) – those are two different things!

A word on hostels…

In my twenties, I’d stay at hostels for $10-20 a night (shared room), and they were basically bunk beds with little thought around design or comfort. Depending on your age, you might feel you’re too old or young to stay at a hostel. But let me tell you this: hostels have come a long way in the past couple of decades.

Private rooms are often just as if not more expensive than hotel rooms, and they can be really nice. Some hostels have upgraded the notion of shared accommodation by providing pods with personal fans, plugs and lights. I’m seeing more and more with privacy curtains. They come with with a higher price tag, but a higher level of comfort too. While the shared rooms often to attract travelers a younger audience, you see people of all ages in hostels, from students right out of high school and retirees in their seventies.

Hostels in particular tend to have backpackers that are on the move. It’s not uncommon to meet people who are moving in the same direction, so you may even find one or more travel buddies on the way.

Language exchange

Engaging with locals is always worthwhile, and an excellent way to feel more connected during your travels. It can be hard if you don’t speak the same language, but this is itself an opportunity to make a new friend. Try to at least learn a few phrases in the local language, which can open doors for conversations and connections that might otherwise be out of reach.

If you are an English speaker in a non English speaking country, you should have no issues trading your English conversation to learn another language. In English-speaking countries, we take English for granted. But abroad, English is one of the most desirable skills out there, and there aren’t always easy ways to pick it up. People know this, and are often super grateful for a language partner.

There are loads of websites which offer language exchange, both free and paid. MosaLingua have done a quick round up if you’d like to learn more, but it pays to be resourceful and creative as well.

When I was learning Mandarin in China, I went to the local university and printed out a sheet saying I was looking for a tandem partner for language practice. I had to take it down because of how many requests I got. I’ve also asked at restaurants (mixed luck) and hostels to see if anyone was up for some language exchange.

It can take a while to find the right chemistry, but I’ve always made really good friends from language learning, both at home and abroad.

Workaways

Travel can get overwhelming when you’re hit with endless admin and you’re tired of being on your own. Adding some routine and work can actually be a good antitode for restoring some order – and by the very nature, you’ll meet people.

There are several places which let you trade work for room and board, from Workaway to HelpX. Find something that aligns to your interests – whether that’s looking after llamas in the Andes, teaching English to a family’s young children, or manning the reception of a hostel. You should help save some money, too.

Online forums

Online forums are underrated when it comes to travel talk. There are so many online communities and social media groups dedicated to solo travel. These are excellent places for travel advice, but also to connect to others who are visiting the same places as you. I know travelers that connect through these forums and then travel together (although obviously exercise caution when you meet people from the internet!)

I talk about this more in my guide to solo travel in South America, but I’ve outlined some of the key points below:

A good way to start is by typing in the place in question on Google followed by ‘travel forum’. Skim the results and read reviews which seem authentic and have been left in the last couple of years. Of course, the more recent, the better. You’ll find recommendations and travel advice, and you can ask your pressing questions to people who know the places inside and out.

Facebook groups can also be a handy source of information, especially if you don’t speak English or the country’s language. Try typing in your nationality followed by the country where you’re going to see if there’s an active travel forum.

In the screenshot below, I searched ‘Italiani in Messico’ (Italians in Mexico) on Facebook groups. The first result has 16,000 members and 10 posts per day. A few of the others look like great travel resources as well. I know people who have met each other and decided to travel together based on these groups.

Still, make sure you watch who is sharing information. If someone is clearly promoting (or defaming) a certain place or hotel, factor that in to what weight you give the post. That said, speaking to recent visitors is a great way to get a real understanding of what a certain place will be like, to ask questions, and make friends.

Group classes

Learning of all sorts can create opportunity for friendships. You can tailor it to your hobbies to meet people with similar interests.

This year, I went to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gyms in Colombia and Italy. In Prague, I went to a kickboxing gym, and in the Philippines, it was all about boxing. I’ve been to gyms in Paris as well through ClassPass.

Because gyms are mostly filled with locals, it’s not unusual for people to offer advice or friendship after you show up solo a few times. It is hit or miss and totally depends on the group, but I’ve found it a nice and unexpected way to make friends on the road. One of my great friends is a woman I met boxing in the Philippines.

Group tours and excursions

Just because you travel alone doesn’t mean you need to do activities alone – if you don’t want to. I went on an expedition boat by myself (that’s another story), and because there were so many group excursions, I met people straight away. If I was alone, people went out of their way to say hello – it was really lovely. I find this happens more with smaller groups.

Joining organized trips means that you can avoid a group holiday (in case that’s not your vibe, although I’ve made great friends that way too), but hang out with other travelers when you feel like it. The down side is that tours can be expensive, but there are usually inexpensive options if you look around a bit. For example, most cities have free walking tours (you just tip the guide).

Of course, it does really depends on the group – some people will simply be friendlier than others. But more often than not, the energy is better if everyone feels included. You might be surprised by how friendly people are.

Ask around

I know this is a daunting one. But if you read my stuff, you’ll know that one of my life philosophies is ‘don’t ask, don’t get‘.

I’ve gone up to groups of people in hostels and hotels and asked if they’d mind if I sat with them. I’ve started up conversations by coffee machines and in restaurants when other diners are alone.

Once I went to a festival in Spain by myself, when my friend had an emergency and couldn’t make it. I was staying in a hotel around twenty minutes from the festival, so I went down to the lobby and found a bunch of groups trying to get taxis.

I went up to one and explained my situation, and asked if I could share a cab with them. This was a mixed group, and I sadly found the men to be nice and the women not so much.

I tried another group, this time of all women. They were Norwegian, and not only did they say yes, but they took me under their wing for the entire weekend. We partied, chatted, went to and from the festival together. They were awesome and I’ll forever be grateful to them.

I know that not everyone likes the potential of rejection, but if you can get accustomed to it, you never know what you might find. When I need motivation, I turn to one of my favourite TED Talks, What I learned from 100 days of rejection – linking here in case it’s interesting.

Stay connected with loved ones

While it’s important to immerse yourself in your travels, staying connected with loved ones back home can also help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to keep in touch with friends and family while you’re on the road.

Schedule regular video calls or send updates through social media or email. Sharing your experiences with others can make you feel more connected, even when you’re miles away. You might find that moments that have become regular for you are really thrilling for someone not on the road.

However, remember to strike a balance. While it’s good to stay connected, spending too much time on your phone or computer can detract from your travel experience.

Practice self-care

Self-care is crucial during solo travel. Make sure you’re eating well, getting plenty of rest, and making time for activities that bring you joy. This can be anything from reading a book to exploring a museum, to indulging in local cuisine.

Solo travel provides an excellent opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Practicing mindfulness can also help you stay present and appreciate just how far you’ve come.

Embrace the solo travel community

Remember that while you may be traveling alone, there’s an entire community of solo travelers out there who understand exactly what you’re going through. Connect through solo travel groups (like Reddit’s /solotravel) and apps, chat to others traveling alone, be creative with proposing activities to do together.

Remember the perks

When we’re going through a tough time, it can be hard to remember the advantages. Try to weigh these in, alongside the disadvantages of group travel.

One of the most significant advantages of solo travel is the freedom it offers. You can plan your itinerary without having to consider anyone else’s preferences or schedules. This freedom allows you to truly immerse yourself in your surroundings and engage with local culture in a way that might not be possible when traveling with others.

Try to view your solitude as an opportunity, and remember that feelings of loneliness are usually temporary. Try to use the time to reflect on your experiences, write in a journal or blog, or simply enjoy the peace and quiet. Solo travel offers an incredibly opportunity for growth and adventure, especially if we can learn to really enjoy our own company.

Move in line with your nature and circumstances

How you respond to feeling lonely during solo travel will depend completely on the sum of your personality and your experiences. Some people will feel lonelier than others, and that’s OK. You’ll have bad days and good days, and that’s OK too.

When I got mugged in Guilin, I felt incredibly alone and lonely, and none of these tips would have have come in handy. In situations of high stress, we have to focus on the basics: trying to stay calm and being kind to ourselves.

In hindsight, it was a growth experience. Now, I keep my valuables in different places and don’t only keep my hotel address on my phone. I saw how kind people were when I needed it. My mom called and we had a really lovely, comforting chat. I treated myself myself to a nice meal, because I’d been mugged, so deserved a treat! This is what made me feel good at the time.

My point is that you will discover how to navigate loneliness while traveling solo. There are things that will make sense to you, and things that won’t.

Should you travel solo, even if it’s lonely?

In my opinion, learning to travel solo and enjoy your own company is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It may be tough in the beginning, but I know very, very few people that hate all forms of solo travel, and loads that swear by its benefits. Often, it’s just about finding the way that works for you.

I hope these tips have been a source of inspiration on how to combat loneliness on your next solo adventure. If you’ve made it down here, I’d love to know:

• Have you found solo travel lonely in the past?
• Has getting lonely ever been a fear of your solo travel?
• Are there any forums or communities that you’ve found helpful for solo traveling?
• What is your favourite way to avoid loneliness when traveling solo?